Chapter one: The blue rabbit
The rabbit turned and looked at me expectantly. “Come on,” he said. “The worst that can happen is that you find what you’re looking for.”
I hesitated at the door, looking out through the small crack the rabbit had left open. It was meant to entice me, I was sure of it. But I still hesitated; I had thought about doing this for a long time already, but going from thinking about it to actually doing it were two very different things.
The small glimpse I could see from my position was intriguing, that much I had to admit. Impossibly green grass overstrewn with small, yellow flowers, and a bright blue sky above with a few white clouds. There was a light grey pathway cutting its way through the grass, leading off to a city in the distance. I could see a few people walk along the pathway, and yet some others sitting on the grass.
It looked peaceful, and not at all dangerous. Not even intimidating.
“Nothing to be scared about, right? You have no reason to stay hidden away in here,” the rabbit said and pushed the door ajar a little further, making it even easier to see what was waiting for me outside. If I were to take the step and go outside, that was.
I still hesitated, and looked back to the room behind me. The Waiting Room, as it was known as. There were people sitting on the benches along the wall, but none of them were speaking to each other. That was the rules; you were not to talk to each anyone but the blue rabbit, and you were not to attempt to go outside until the blue rabbit came to get you.
I knew all the rules. I had read them extensively; so much that I had practically memorized them all. I knew what I was getting myself into. Or at least I hoped I did. There was no knowing what would happen if I somehow got myself in over my head – I could only hope that nothing bad would come of this.
The rabbit seemed to sense my hesitation, and looked up at me with bit blue eyes, a shade lighter than his fur. “If you need more time, you are welcome to say so,” he said, and I thought I could detect a hint of resentment in his voice. Not so strange, maybe. The line was long to get in, and it had probably taken a lot of time to screen me, even more time and effort to approve me. If I were to change my mind now… Well, let’s just say that I wouldn’t be given a second chance.
Finally I nodded. I didn’t say anything, but I knew I didn’t have to – the rabbit would understand.
And he did. He pushed the door open all the way and hopped out into the green grass beyond, once again turning back to me, as if he didn’t quite trust that I would follow. I couldn’t really blame him. I wasn’t sure myself if I was going to follow, not until I took a deep breath and then stepped out onto the grass as well.
The second I was outside, the door slammed shut behind me with a loud bang, as if it wanted to demonstrate that no, I was never going to be able to go back through it again. This was a definite choice; there was no doubt about that.
“I’m going to be your guide,” the blue rabbit said as it led the way from the grass to the pathway. “But you already knew that, I presume. And you also know that I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’m just going to show you around, make sure you won’t do anything too wrong while you’re new. After that, it’s all up to you.”
I wanted to say that I knew all of this already. Hell, I probably knew everything that he was going to tell me already. I had done my research, probably far more extensively than anyone else who wanted in. For me, this wasn’t merely something to do to pass the time. It wasn’t about the green of the grass or the blue of the sky, or the alluring lights of the cities visible. I suspected that the rabbit knew all of this, but that he was going to give me the same standard tour no matter what I said. So I said nothing. Let him lead the way and be the guide. Easier that way. Maybe I could pick up a few things I didn’t already know as well. Information could never be a bad thing.
“You have already read the basic rules over and over, I’m sure of that,” the rabbit continued, talking a little louder because he hopped from the pathway to the grass, though he still stayed as close as possible. “Everything is simple, really. This will be what you make of it. Everyone comes here looking for different things. Someone wants to find something – or someone – and other wants to escape something. Or someone. I haven’t read your file, I don’t know which group you belong with, and there’s no need to tell me either. I am just the guide.”
We were approaching the nearest city quickly, almost too quickly. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go there just yet; I had to admit that the open space with its flowers and birds and trees spaced out so evenly that it couldn’t possibly be random was soothing to me. The fact that there weren’t too many people out here helped as well. However, I knew that the first guided tour went like this; it had been described to me more than once. It always started from the room, down the pathway through the grass, and into the nearest city.
“First off, you need to go to the Town Hall to get registered, and you have to sign in there every time you’re in town. This will be your home city, so I suggest you get to know it, and quick. Second, you’re not required to get any kind of job, but it is encouraged, ‘cause it helps everything run smoother. Third, go to the Library and read the rules and regulations. All of them. Of course the ones for your city are the most important, but if you want to go to the other cities, you should definitely learn their rules as well. Breaking them will be punished, I’m sure you know this.”
The rabbit stopped not far from the gate of the city, sitting down as he looked up at me. “Are you following me so far? I’m not going too fast for you, am I?”
I shook my head in response, looking up at the gate instead of at him. It might have been rude of me, but I had long since lost interest in him. The city, the one that was going to be my home town for possibly the next few years, was far more interesting. Not that I could see much of it yet; the brick walls surrounding it blocked out any view apart from rooftops of varying heights. The large metal sign over the gate read -Ixero-. My home. I supposed it could be worse.
“I’m not following you inside. Once the gate opens, you’re on your own,” the rabbit said, shifting almost uncomfortably. I wondered if it was because he didn’t like the idea of letting me into the city alone, or if it was because he didn’t enjoy being so close to civilization. Most likely it was the latter – the rabbit seemed to belong out in the grass, or back at the Waiting Room. I could imagine him hopping along the same paths, leading the same conversations, over and over again. Tirelessly, without rest or sleep or food. I didn’t know why, but the thought made me sad.
“Are you ready?” the rabbit asked me, and without even thinking I shook my head. He didn’t look particularly surprised; I figured that I was hardly the only one who wasn’t in a rush to get into the cities. From what I had seen of secret maps and drawings, there was just as much nature as there were cities, and I was pretty sure that this nature was just as appealing as the cities.
Even so, the rabbit sighed quietly and looked up at the gate, then shook his head. “Too bad. I’m supposed to stay here until you’re safely inside, but I have no time to sit around and wait for you to get ready to go inside. I have things to take care of, people to see, newcomers to guide.” He sounded grumpy, and I bowed slightly as an apology. He merely waved a paw at me, though, dismissing me altogether.
“I guess it can’t be helped. You’re allowed to spend a few hours in this area, and once you’re registered, you can come back here as often as you wish. So I’m going to leave you, and you can sit on the grass or smell the flowers or look at the sky. Whatever it is you humans do when you’re getting yourself ready to go in. Just make sure you don’t stay here longer than three hours. You have to get registered. Got it?”
I nodded. It wasn’t difficult to hear the carefully veiled threat in the rabbit’s voice. I knew how things worked, and I wasn’t trying to be a rebel, not at all. All I wanted was some time. A chance to look around for a little while before I put my name down and became an official part of this place. I figured that wasn’t too much to ask.
The rabbit sighed again, looking vaguely exasperated. I could understand him. It had to be a frustrating job, being the guide for the newcomers, over and over again. Though I didn’t think I was among the worst ones – I hadn’t badgered the rabbit with questions, I had read all the rules; I probably knew more than ninety per cent of the people the rabbit gave the guide to. I wasn’t too bad.
He hopped away, but turned back to look at me one final time. “You won’t see me anymore, but you knew that already. I’m just the guide. If you have questions, you have to go see The Four Sisters. They’ll help you with any questions. Just not stupid ones.”
I nodded. I knew this already. The rabbit looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he shook his head, lifted a paw in a silent goodbye, and returned back to the Waiting Room. There were more newcomers to be guided, after all. Constantly new ones coming in; this place was more popular than I had realized.
For a little while I simply stood there, looking after the blue rabbit until he hopped out of sight in the gentle slopes of the landscapes. Even then, it was difficult to move, but eventually I walked away from the gate, wandering among the flowers until I reached one of the trees. I didn’t know just why I didn’t just go into the city; maybe it was just that I needed to stop and think, or maybe it was because I wanted to avoid the people.
I sat down on the grass, my back against the tree trunk. Counted on some peace and quiet while I was sitting there, but it didn’t take more than a couple of minutes before a young woman walked up to where I was sitting, looking down at me with a small smile. “I’m Dakota,” she said in response to my expression, which was no doubt one of confusion.
“Uhm,” I replied, because I didn’t quite know what else to say. I wasn’t all that good with people, and I would never take any initiative to talk to anyone. If I could, I would avoid people in general. And I couldn’t for the life of me understand why this woman would want to talk to me.
Dakota smiled, and knelt down beside me, giving me a curious look. It made me uncomfortable, because I could never tell whether people were genuinely smiling, or if they were smiling because they thought I look funny. I shifted, drawing my coat tighter around me, something which made her laugh. It wasn’t so difficult to understand why; with the sun shining, most of the people in sight wore jeans and t-shirts, or dresses, while I wore a thick coat with brown stripes. I was bound to stand out, but I was used to that, it didn’t bother me too much.
“You could tell me your name as well, you know,” Dakota teased, though she didn’t seem to really wait for an answer. Instead she started picking the small yellow flowers all around us, tying them together deftly, as if she had done it many times before. I found myself watching her, possibly because I didn’t have anything else to do. Or possibly because I wasn’t usually this close to girls.
She wasn’t really pretty, from a conventional point of view. Her face was a little too long, she was a little too pale, and she used a bit too much make-up. It all seemed to suit her, however. As if she wouldn’t quite be herself if she had looked any different. What really fascinated me were her intense pink eyes and the blonde hair with stripes of pink. It made her stand out, and I had to admit that I liked it. I found her pretty, especially with her innocent white dress flowing in the green grass. I thought I had never seen someone so delicate and intriguing before, and for once I honestly wished that I was better at talking to people. I wanted to get to know this woman, but I didn’t know how.
“I’m Kai,” I blurted out, and I looked down as she looked up, but I could almost feel how she smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Kai,” she said. Softly. I glanced up, but this time she was the one looking down. I followed her gaze, looked at the intricate weave of flowers in her hands. Yellow flowers, all torn up from the earth and tied together. Dakota picked two more flowers and used them to connect the ends together, before putting the circle of flowers on her head, carefully.
It looked like a halo. Like she was somehow an angel in white and pink and with yellow flowers.
Dakota looked at me, and for the first time I met her eyes, instantly taken aback at the sadness in her eyes. I thought I could see fear as well, but I had never been all that good at reading people, so I wasn’t sure. She still smiled, however, and stood up before spinning around, her dress flicking around her legs in a way that made me dizzy.
“You should dance more,” she said, and held out a hand to me, inviting me to join her. I wanted to ask her what she meant, wanted to protest, wanted to join her. I didn’t even know why, but there were so many things I wanted to say or do, and they all somehow conflicted with each other.
But just as I reached out my hand to take Dakota’s, there was a bright flash of light, blinding me for a split second, and when I could see again, she was gone. Vanished from the spot she had been standing on a moment earlier.
The only trace of her was the headband of yellow flowers, lying on the grass.
~tbc~
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