Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Fiction: Three (part one, chapter five)
Chapter five: Odd one out
Kenji didn’t even make it home to talk to Arai before he got something else to think about. On his way home he stopped by the usual grocery store, and was approached by a smiling young woman, greeting him as if they were very familiar with each other. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was Jelena, the girl that had been working part time in the firm for as long as he could remember. They had rarely worked together, which was why it took him a few moments to recognize her, but yeah, he liked her okay enough, despite not knowing a thing about her. Why she would want to talk to him, he had no idea.
“I’m so glad I ran into you, Kenji,” she said with eyes that seemed to spark with happiness, which made Kenji more than a little confused. Both because she seemed so utterly happy to see him, and because she called him by his first name. Granted, her origin was Russian, as her name suggested, but still – the norm in Saitama was as in the rest of Japan; last name basis unless you knew someone pretty damn well.
“You are?” he asked, the confusion so obvious in his voice that Jelena’s radiant smile faded slightly, and he felt bad. Maybe there had been something going on that he had simply not picked up on. Now that he thought about it, hadn’t Jelena had strangely many errands to run to his department when she was working in the firm? Hadn’t she been taking lunch breaks and other breaks exactly at the same time as Kenji, more often than not sitting down at his table?
No, that had to be a coincidence, he shouldn’t become overly confident – a young woman like Jelena would have no interest in someone like him. She was in her early twenties, after all; to her he had to seem positively ancient.
“Yes, I am. For several reasons,” Jelena answered, seeming to sound cryptic on purpose to get Kenji interested in what she was talking about. And considering everything that had been going on lately, he couldn’t help but be curious, urging her to go on, but Jelena shook her head. “Not here, it’s far too public. Can we go to a café and talk?”
Kenji hesitated, not sure if he knew Jelena well enough for this, and besides, he had to get home to--- No, wait, there was only Arai home at the moment, and if he was actually home he had no problems with fixing food for himself. He hardly needed Kenji’s company for anything. They would still get to talk, even if he postponed it a little. Might do him good to get to calm down ever so slightly anyway, so he nodded, agreeing to take Jelena to a café nearby after finishing his grocery shopping.
It felt vaguely uncomfortable to be sitting in a little corner together, sipping coffee and nibbling on cakes as if they were on a date – something in Jelena’s eyes suggested that she viewed this as somewhat of a date as well. Kenji shifted uncomfortably and straightened up, determined to not get tangled up in any more romantic mess for a while. He still hadn’t resolved things with Yukiko, after all, and the longing for her was like a constant, vague ache in his chest.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, sounding like he was talking to a business associate and nothing else, and it was all too obvious that Jelena caught the slight change of his tone. She looked down, falling silent from her chatter about how it was so great to have him back at the firm and how everyone apparently had missed him horribly. It took a while before she spoke again, almost long enough to make Kenji impatient – he really had no time for young girls and their crushes; if it was the case that she had a crush on him.
“You probably don’t know this, but I’m studying to be a police officer,” she said quietly when she finally piped up again, and Kenji wondered where on earth she was going with this. “For the past few months, I’ve been working shifts with the police, as a part of my training, and well… I’m one of the many on your brother’s case. You know, Arai?”
At this piece of information, Kenji finally took interest. This was his chance to get some inside information, maybe find out who had framed Arai, or what kind of evidence – false, of course – the police had against him.
Can you tell me something about the case? Anything would be helpful. You see, we really can’t afford this kind of thing happening, not now and I know Arai is innocent, there’s no way that he can be guilty, it’s simply not possible,“ he said eagerly, leaning forwards again to get closer to Jelena, suddenly kind of glad that he had decided to come along. Maybe he’d get the piece of information they needed to find a way out of this mess.
Jelena tore him out of his hopes quickly though, as she shook her head firmly, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to talk about the case at all. Giving you any kind of information regarding the evidence that has been collected might end up getting me fired even before I’ve become a proper police officer. I just wanted to let you know that it’s very, very serious. The file on Arai is the biggest I’ve seen, and… Well, I’m honestly not sure if there’s anything that either of you can do to keep him out of prison.”
“But---,” Kenji began, looking pale and startled, only to be cut off by Jelena again. Now that she had started talking, she was apparently not going to stop any time soon.
“No, don’t say anything,” she urged, leaning over the table and placing a finger over Kenji’s lips, physically shushing him. As if they knew each other far better than they really did. “I’m just telling you this because… Well, to be honest, I like you, and I like you a lot. And seeing as Arai is your brother, I felt as if I should be doing something to help you out, even if there’s not much that I can do, strictly speaking. But I can warn you. If you asked for my advice, I would tell you to get Arai out of Saitama as quickly as possible. It might be the only thing that can save him. And he did live in America for a while, right?”
Kenji honestly found it hard to keep up at the moment. The mass of information given in such a rapid English made his head spin – first the revelation that she really did like him, as he had vaguely suspected, then the knowledge that the case against Arai was bad enough for her to advice him to get Arai away from Saitama altogether, the knowledge that she knew something that personal about Arai… It made Kenji realize, finally, just how serious this was. Up until now he had thought that sooner or later, the charges would simply go away, just because he knew that Arai was innocent.
I’m such an idiot, he thought to himself as he more or less stared at Jelena, not quite knowing what to tell her. It felt impossible to come up with a good answer, and in the end he merely nodded, though he had no idea just what he was nodding in response to. Jelena didn’t seem to be all that concerned though, and sighed softly, brushing her finger over his lips. Kenji let her.
“Really, you need to get Arai away, otherwise he will end up in prison. I’m trying not to tell you too much here, but it seems like the initial drug charges was only the beginning of the case the police is building against him. He’s been a thorn in the eyes of the higher police officers for years. I think… I think they’re finding a way to get rid of him. Once and for all. I think they’re trying to get him sent to The Cage. For life, Kenji. If they get him, you’ll never see Arai again.”
Again Kenji merely stared at Jelena, wondering if she was telling the truth. Not that he had any reason not to trust her, but on the other hand… Why should he trust her? In Saitama, sometimes it seemed like you couldn’t even trust your best friends. He should know.
“A-are you serious?” he asked, his voice sounding as if he hadn’t used it in years, and he suddenly realized just how scared he was of the possibility of Arai being sent to prison. No, not only to prison, but to The Cage. That couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t happen. Just like Jun being taken away by the social services would kill all three of them, so would Arai being sent to prison. Okay, maybe Arai could make it in prison, but somehow he doubted it. Arai played it tough, pretended to be hardcore, but beneath it all he was really rather mellow. Possibly even more so than Kenji himself.
“I’m completely serious, Kenji,” Jelena replied, and she did indeed look very serious. “I wouldn’t play games with you, you’re…. you’re far too important to me for that. I just wanted to do something for you, something that could help you, so that maybe…” She trailed off again, shaking her head, looking so sad that Kenji felt guilty simply for being here and not treating her in the way that she so clearly desired. He decided to leave the topic of Arai for now, because it was just as clear that Jelena would not say anything else about him, nor give him any kind of detailed information about his case. She couldn’t, he didn’t really have any problems with understanding and respecting that. So instead he smiled faintly to her, reaching out and taking her hand in his.
“Thank you, Jelena. Thank you so much for letting me know, I really appreciate your kindness. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, just let me know. I’ll happily grant it, as long as it’s physically possible to do,” he said warmly, meaning every word. No matter if there were still a little nagging thought at the back of his mind telling him that something was wrong. It was probably merely his constant suspicion – the past ten years had made him more than a little cynical, he had to admit that. But at the sight of the girl in front of him lighting up as if she had been given the greatest compliment of all times he couldn’t help but smile back at her.
She really was rather beautiful, with her dark and dramatic colors. So utterly different from Yukiko. There was nothing Kenji could do to stop the thought, and it made his smile fade a little. Yukiko. With her long hair as white as snow, with her pale skin and delicate features and her eyes, so bright and with that odd mixture of blue and brown that told him that they were contacts, something which he didn’t care one single bit about because they were amazing nonetheless. Yukiko with her stylish clothes and her soft laughter and that special tone of her voice, the one that made it sound like she was singing even if she was only talking about where to go for dinner. Yukiko with the soft, white ears sticking out of her hair and the equally white tail that she did nothing to hide. Yukiko with her ability to laugh at everything he said without making him feel stupid and with her ability to really purr and stretch when she was content. He loved watching her, talking to her, even just thinking about her.
Compared to someone like that, how could Jelena ever stand a chance?
However, on the other side…. Jelena worked in his firm and studied to be a police officer, she came from a respected family with close connections to The Hills, she was open and honest and young and innocent. Jelena would never even think of doing like Yukiko. Yukiko, who worked as a stripper in one of the sleaziest clubs in The Slums, and who lived there as well. Close to The Plains, granted, but still. She was still in The Slums. Yukiko, who had wanted to be a dancer, a real dancer, but who had taken the wrong turn somewhere and now she was not someone who Kenji should even be talking to. Which he wasn’t, so everything should be okay now. Yukiko was out of the picture and he was sitting here with Jelena. He should be happy.
So why did he feel like the sun had just gone down?
“Kenji?” Jelena’s voice was confused, and Kenji snapped out of the thoughts that just couldn’t lead anywhere good. He had to forget Yukiko, he had to, and what better way was there, if not to move on with someone who was the exact opposite of Yukiko? Someone who openly liked him, someone who he might learn to like back in the same way.
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking. What did you say?” he smiled at her, forcing himself to bury the thought of Yukiko far down, so that Jelena wouldn’t be able to tell that he was really thinking about someone else when he was sitting here with her, offering her everything she wanted.
“I just said that… That maybe, if you don’t think it’s too much, that we can go on a date sometime. A real one, I mean, and not just bumping into each other and getting coffee.” She laughed quietly, her cheeks slightly flushed, and Kenji had to admit that she really was quite cute. In all honesty she probably was far too young for him, but she seemed so mature. She seemed to know what she wanted, and seeing as he had said she could have anything, he nodded, still smiling. Trying not to think of the woman he really wanted.
“That sounds great. I have an appointment tomorrow evening and I have some work to catch up with, but… What do you say we go out to eat on Friday? Maybe catch a movie or go to the theatre afterwards? It’s nothing big, I know, but it’s a start,” he said with the right level of enthusiasm. The enthusiasm he felt nothing of – this was merely repaying Jelena for warning him about the case against Arai, and also a way for him to start getting over Yukiko. Maybe it was cold-hearted of him to use a young girl like that, but he could hardly see how a date or three would hurt her in the long run.
And sure enough, Jelena nodded eagerly, once again lighting up as if he had asked her to marry him. The strength of her reaction should probably warn him against toying with her feelings, but at the moment her feelings was the least of his worries. It was harsh, but it was also completely true. Against playing by the “rules”, Kenji displayed just about the right level of reluctance as he got up and paid the bill for their coffee and cakes – his father had raised him to be a gentleman and even though gestures such as this was considered old-fashioned and out of date and would have made Arai scoff at him, he didn’t care. The looks in the girls’ eyes, Jelena’s this time, was more than enough to make up for him being teased for being so chivalrous.
They exchanged phone numbers and Kenji promised to call Jelena, before they parted. After a small moment of hesitation Kenji leaned in and kissed Jelena’s cheek, once again thanking her for the information she had given him. He had a feeling that it would make all the difference in what happened to Arai, though he couldn’t quite explain why.
Well at home Kenji was more than a little distracted as he put away the groceries and made dinner for himself and Arai, though as usual he had no idea when his younger brother would be stumbling in through the door. For once though, he would wait up, no matter how long it took. They had to talk.
It was nearly 4 AM before Arai returned to their apartment, looking all too happy; slightly tipsy, with his clothes crumpled and askew, and with that utterly pleased look on his face that Kenji knew all too well. He got up from the sofa, where he had been reading for hours now after going over the entire apartment, tidying up anything that might be of offense to the social services, and cleaning thoroughly as well – it wasn’t exactly something he enjoyed to do or did very often, but right now it was needed. They had to make a good impression as they possibly could – no matter if Nakamura had already made up her mind about the outcome.
“You’re late,” he told Arai, noting the definite hint of dismay in his voice, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that at the moment. Not when he felt sick with concern for his two brothers, feeling as if his own life was going way too good at the moment. After all, he was the one who had gotten his job back, who had two women interested in him, who had just had a big article written about him. Okay, so maybe that last part wasn’t all that positive, but still.
Arai looked back at him in apparent surprise, not exactly used to Kenji waiting up for him anymore. After Arai turned twenty and technically became an adult, Kenji had stopped berating him and trying to control him. For the most part, anyway. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Arai laughed, however, and he shuffled over to Kenji, giving him a big hug and a far too enthusiastic kiss that Kenji broke away from instantly, sputtering with anger.
“Would you act your age for once in your life?! I didn’t wait up so that you could attack me, Arai,” Kenji said angrily, pushing his brother away rather harshly, making an already unsteady Arai stumble back and crash into the nearest wall. Of course, those harsh words were all it took for Arai’s temper to flare as well, and his eyes darkened. Drawing back slightly Kenji noticed that it wasn’t a trick of the light; Arai’s eyes actually darkened with the rush of anger. He had noticed little things like that in the past as well, but it was getting more and more obvious the older Arai became, that these strange little things that kept happening around him. Arai didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care, but for Kenji it was excruciating to watch. Not to mention frightening.
Who is he? He’s not normal, he’s honestly not normal...
“I’m normal, stop saying I’m not normal!” Arai almost yelled, making Kenji literally jump – mostly because he hadn’t said anything at all. This really wasn’t like it should be; since when did Arai have the ability to read thoughts?
“Okay, okay, calm down,” he said, holding up his hands in defeat, not wanting to risk pissing Arai off on top of everything else. They had to stick together now; otherwise there was no way that they would manage to figure this mess out. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to say something like that. And that’s not the point either. I have to talk to you, that’s why I waited up for you. I’ve found out some things, and I---”
“I’ve found out a few things myself,” Arai interrupted, calming down again fairly quickly. If nothing else, that was one of the good things about Arai – he was quick to get angry, but it would pass just as quickly, thankfully. Unless there was someone that really awoke his wrath, of course, like the time that he had found out that someone had bullied Jun – Arai had gone with him to the school he had een attending at the time, found the bullies and beat them into submission. Granted, the incident got Jun expelled, but Kenji hadn’t been able to be mad at Arai; simply because he had wanted to do the exact same thing, Arai had just gotten to the boys sooner.
“You’re in trouble at work again,” Arai continued all too calmly. Kenji frowned, not really understanding what on earth Arai was talking about, because how could he possibly know anything at all about Kenji’s work situation? Hell, Arai barely knew what he did for a living, never having taken any interest in it whatsoever. “There’s another file missing, and there’s one that’s been messed up. When you get to work tomorrow, you’ll be called into another meeting. I think you might be fired for good this time.”
Kenji didn’t understand how Arai could sound so calm, if what he was saying was indeed true. They sat down on the couch, curling up a little in the exact same way, something which would have made Jun smile if he had been here. Then he would have padded over and made room for himself in the middle, and then they’d watch a movie with Kenji and Arai constantly bickering over the movie and every single detail in it. It was their way.
“What do you mean? How do you know this? I haven’t messed anything up, I’ve checked everything I’ve done at least three times, and often gotten Nanette to look over my work as well, just to make sure. I swear, there’s not a chance of me having messed up.” He was telling the absolute truth; he had known that he would be under extra scrutiny, so he had taken even more care than before his suspension. This didn’t make any sense whatsoever, but then again, he hadn’t thought that it made any sense with the Redmon portfolio either – he was still completely sure that he hadn’t messed that up.
“you know, Kenji, I’m starting to wonder… But no, that doesn’t make sense at all, it really doesn’t. Why the hell would someone want to…” Arai trailed off, looking pensive, though when he didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, Kenji reached out and tugged on his braids – they were all too made for that. “Oi, what did you do that for? Oh yeah, sorry, I was trying to think.”
“Trying being the operative word, I’m sure,” Kenji remarked dryly, earning himself a poke in the ribs. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, no matter how serious the situation was. If nothing else, they were still brothers; nobody could take that away from them.
“Shut up, I don’t see you trying to figure this out.” Once again Arai fell silent, until Kenji tugged his hair again. They had more than enough experience with this kind of banter, and it felt…almost safe, actually. It made it feel like everything really was okay. “I was just thinking that it’s just too much at once. The social services suddenly knocking on our door, your trouble with work, my trouble with the police… And Jun called earlier, he was given detention because of missed homework. Do you believe that for a second? The little idiot is one of those who do extra homework just because he thinks it’s fun. He told me that he turned it in just like he always did, but that it apparently mysteriously disappeared. Doesn’t that sound a bit too familiar to you?”
This time it was Kenji’s turn to fall silent, turning Arai’s words over and over in his head. There was no denying that he had a point. There was just a bit too much happening at once, way too much for it to be a coincidence. They had always had their problems through the years, that was true, but they had never had such huge problems, and never all of them at the same time. Arai was right – this was all too suspicious.
“Yeah, I get what you’re saying, but… Why would someone want to mess our lives up? And do you really think that there’s anyone who can influence social services, build a case against you, get me fired from work and get Jun in detention? How is that possible?” he asked, being the voice of reason as always. It would have been so easy to chalk it all up to some conspiracy against them, but on the other hand, he saw that as a cheap way out. Besides, it wouldn’t solve the problem at all – in fact it would make everything even worse. Because if there really was just one person behind it all, then how could either of them manage to stop someone that obviously powerful?
Arai shook his head though, not quite agreeing, and he shifted towards Kenji eagerly. “It’s not that much of a stretch! Saitama isn’t all that big, you know, it’s like everybody knows everybody here. I’m sure that if we thought about it, we could come up with several people who know all three of us.”
Kenji had a feeling that they were disagreeing with each other simply out of principle, or maybe it was just the fact that they saw things differently. In any case, he thought that Arai was being an idiot, no matter whether he had a point or not. “And just why would any of the people that knew all three of us want to mess up our lives? And how could any of them manage to do something like that? I mean, you’d have to have some connections to pull that stuff off, right? Use what little is left of your brain, you moron.”
“I didn’t say that I had a reasoning for why or how, fuckface. But you have to agree that it makes more sense than all of this happening for no reason whatsoever. All of this can’t be a coincidence,” Arai said, gesturing so eagerly that Kenji grinned, though he hid it by reaching out and hitting him over the head. They would probably never agree on this, not until they managed to find any sort of evidence that this wasn’t just a coincidence.
“Even if it’s not a coincidence, there’s nothing we can do about it. There’s no way for us to figure out who that person might be, and if we don’t know who it is, then we can’t stop them either. We have to deal with this the way we know how – and not run off on some treasure hunt that won’t lead anywhere at all,” Kenji said rather sternly, waving a finger in Arai’s face. He knew his brother rather well, after all, and he knew that Arai was likely to go off attempting to find this person. No matter whether he or she actually existed.
Quite honestly, Kenji just didn’t have the time or energy to look after Arai and what he did, not with everything else right now. There was so much going on that he almost forgot just why he had waited up for Arai in the first place, which was definitely saying something.
“Listen, Arai, there’s something else I need to talk to you about,” he began, and for once Arai actually quieted down, as if he was able to understand that this wasn’t something he could joke away, not this time. “Nakamura from the social services called, she’s coming here tomorrow night to talk to me about Jun and well, about you and me too, I guess, and everything else in general. She wasn’t particularly pleased with the article, it---”
“Oh yeah, the article, I had almost forgotten! That one was so brilliant, Loki really does know what he’s doing, doesn’t he? Jun should really read that, he always asks me what you were like when you were younger,” Arai interrupted, all seriousness vanishing in two seconds flat. Kenji felt like smacking him.
“No, he shouldn’t read that at all! It’s nothing in it that he should be reading. He doesn’t need to know,” Kenji snapped back, though his reaction only served to amuse Arai. “And anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that it hardly helped our case. Apparently Nakamura is convinced that Jun’s going to go bad because of my past, and that it’s my fault that you turned out the way you did.”
Arai stared back at Kenji in disbelief, as if he couldn’t quite understand that someone managed to think that way. “Are you serious? Did the bitch read the rest of the article? She’s insane! Me and Jun, we couldn’t have had someone better to raise us and take care of us! If it hadn’t been for you… I don’t think either of us would have even survived. Doesn’t she see that?!”
Kenji looked back at Arai, at his angry eyes and his gesturing and his utter honesty – and without a word he shifted closer and gave him a hug. He had never heard Arai talk like this; usually they would merely argue and bitch at each other and disagree on everything from the day’s dinner to how to raise Jun best. At times he had really wondered why Arai stayed here, but now it became less of a mystery. Maybe Arai actually did like him too, and not just Jun.
“Nakamura doesn’t see it like that. She sees your trouble with the police and Jun’s problems at school, and she blames me for it, seeing as I’m the one responsible for the two of you. I get why she thinks that way, even if it’s unfair,” Kenji replied, oddly calmly. In a way it made it easier to stay calm and collected to fight for his brothers when he knew just how Arai felt. “I’ve sorted the apartment, and I’m planning on finding all of Jun’s grade sheets and awards that he’s been given. It might be a cheap thing to do, but I’ll use it for all it’s worth if it helps.”
Arai stayed close to Kenji, drawing his legs up into the sofa and shifting to pretty much drape himself over Kenji’s lap – and for once Kenji didn’t mind it, even if Arai smelled of alcohol and sex. It didn’t seem to matter too much, not in the big picture. “Yeah, you really should do that. I guess that you should mention me as little as possible, huh? I’ll make sure to stay away tomorrow.”
It wasn’t difficult to notice the almost hurt tone of Arai’s voice, and Kenji shook his head. This probably wasn’t the smartest solution, but he didn’t really care all that much. Arai couldn’t make things worse. “Silly. I want you to be here. I’m not ashamed of you, not one single bit. And you know just as good as me that you’re far more likely to charm the woman.”
“Yeah, you have a point there,” Arai admitted, smiling up at Kenji, looking almost hopeful, as if he couldn’t quite believe that Kenji would want him there. It made Kenji wonder if their relationship really was that bad, to the point of where they were more or less total strangers who lived together and argued every time they spoke. No, it couldn’t have gotten that bad. He wouldn’t let it get that bad.
“So you’ll stay here with me, and we’ll convince that…woman that the best thing for Jun is to stay right here, where he belongs. But that’s only half of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Kenji sighed quietly, thinking how much easier it would have been to just forget everything about it – he sure as hell had enough to struggle with already. But Arai was just as much his brother as Jun was, even if they weren’t related by blood, and there was no way he’d leave him to fend for himself.
“I spoke to a girl today, no, a woman, and she told me some very interesting things. She’s working with the police, she’s on your case, and she… Well, she advised me to get you out of Saitama as quickly as possible, because if you get arrested, you might be sent to The Cage. For good,” Kenji said quietly, not looking at Arai because he didn’t really want to say this at all, but well, he kind of had to. He really had to, no matter how much it might end up hurting Arai. Choosing to stay silent would hurt him even more in the long run, that much was certain. Though he had to admit that the look on Arai’s face when he finally glanced at him was almost physically painful.
“I have to leave? Again?” Arai asked, suddenly sounding as if he was just as young as Jun. Jun, who would sit in his room and cry silently the night before he had to leave for school until Arai came and hugged and comforted him. When Arai was the one sounding like that, Kenji quite honestly didn’t know what to do.
“I don’t know, Arai. It was merely her advice; it’s up to us if we want to follow it. Or it’s up to you, anyway – I can’t decide for you,” Kenji replied more calmly than he felt. Quite frankly he didn’t want Arai to leave, but if it was a choice between sending Arai out of Saitama and watching him be sent to The Cage, then it was easy. It wouldn’t even be a choice. “I’ll do anything I can to help you out, but according to Jelena, the file on you is huge, and they apparently have more than the drug stuff. I have no idea what, she couldn’t tell me, but I’m… I’m scared for you, Arai.”
It wasn’t often Kenji said things like these to Arai, something which they both knew, and it made Arai sit up, looking at Kenji seriously. “When you’re scaed, then I know that it’s bad. Usually when I’ve been in trouble you’ve just said that I need to fix it myself and then you’ve gone to work like everything’s normal.” There was a slight hint of something accusatory in Arai’s voice, but Kenji knew that he wasn’t actually angry. Considering the mass of problems Arai had been in over the past few years he could hardly blame Kenji for telling him to sort it himself.
“Yeah, you’re right, it is bad. But we’ll deal with it together, I promise you that. We’ll keep getting you out of Saitama as a last option. Resorting to that just yet would just be foolish, if you ask me. We’ve never given up without a fight in the past, have we?”
Kenji didn’t feel even half as secure and confident as he sounded, and he knew very well that Arai could see straight though him, but he nodded nonetheless. As if it was just simpler to allow his big brother to make the decisions, even if Arai was an adult as well by now, fully capable of making his own decisions. Something which he did for the most part. It was mostly when he was in trouble that he turned to Kenji, and Kenji helped him, every single time.
They were family.
~tbc~
Kenji didn’t even make it home to talk to Arai before he got something else to think about. On his way home he stopped by the usual grocery store, and was approached by a smiling young woman, greeting him as if they were very familiar with each other. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was Jelena, the girl that had been working part time in the firm for as long as he could remember. They had rarely worked together, which was why it took him a few moments to recognize her, but yeah, he liked her okay enough, despite not knowing a thing about her. Why she would want to talk to him, he had no idea.
“I’m so glad I ran into you, Kenji,” she said with eyes that seemed to spark with happiness, which made Kenji more than a little confused. Both because she seemed so utterly happy to see him, and because she called him by his first name. Granted, her origin was Russian, as her name suggested, but still – the norm in Saitama was as in the rest of Japan; last name basis unless you knew someone pretty damn well.
“You are?” he asked, the confusion so obvious in his voice that Jelena’s radiant smile faded slightly, and he felt bad. Maybe there had been something going on that he had simply not picked up on. Now that he thought about it, hadn’t Jelena had strangely many errands to run to his department when she was working in the firm? Hadn’t she been taking lunch breaks and other breaks exactly at the same time as Kenji, more often than not sitting down at his table?
No, that had to be a coincidence, he shouldn’t become overly confident – a young woman like Jelena would have no interest in someone like him. She was in her early twenties, after all; to her he had to seem positively ancient.
“Yes, I am. For several reasons,” Jelena answered, seeming to sound cryptic on purpose to get Kenji interested in what she was talking about. And considering everything that had been going on lately, he couldn’t help but be curious, urging her to go on, but Jelena shook her head. “Not here, it’s far too public. Can we go to a café and talk?”
Kenji hesitated, not sure if he knew Jelena well enough for this, and besides, he had to get home to--- No, wait, there was only Arai home at the moment, and if he was actually home he had no problems with fixing food for himself. He hardly needed Kenji’s company for anything. They would still get to talk, even if he postponed it a little. Might do him good to get to calm down ever so slightly anyway, so he nodded, agreeing to take Jelena to a café nearby after finishing his grocery shopping.
It felt vaguely uncomfortable to be sitting in a little corner together, sipping coffee and nibbling on cakes as if they were on a date – something in Jelena’s eyes suggested that she viewed this as somewhat of a date as well. Kenji shifted uncomfortably and straightened up, determined to not get tangled up in any more romantic mess for a while. He still hadn’t resolved things with Yukiko, after all, and the longing for her was like a constant, vague ache in his chest.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, sounding like he was talking to a business associate and nothing else, and it was all too obvious that Jelena caught the slight change of his tone. She looked down, falling silent from her chatter about how it was so great to have him back at the firm and how everyone apparently had missed him horribly. It took a while before she spoke again, almost long enough to make Kenji impatient – he really had no time for young girls and their crushes; if it was the case that she had a crush on him.
“You probably don’t know this, but I’m studying to be a police officer,” she said quietly when she finally piped up again, and Kenji wondered where on earth she was going with this. “For the past few months, I’ve been working shifts with the police, as a part of my training, and well… I’m one of the many on your brother’s case. You know, Arai?”
At this piece of information, Kenji finally took interest. This was his chance to get some inside information, maybe find out who had framed Arai, or what kind of evidence – false, of course – the police had against him.
Can you tell me something about the case? Anything would be helpful. You see, we really can’t afford this kind of thing happening, not now and I know Arai is innocent, there’s no way that he can be guilty, it’s simply not possible,“ he said eagerly, leaning forwards again to get closer to Jelena, suddenly kind of glad that he had decided to come along. Maybe he’d get the piece of information they needed to find a way out of this mess.
Jelena tore him out of his hopes quickly though, as she shook her head firmly, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to talk about the case at all. Giving you any kind of information regarding the evidence that has been collected might end up getting me fired even before I’ve become a proper police officer. I just wanted to let you know that it’s very, very serious. The file on Arai is the biggest I’ve seen, and… Well, I’m honestly not sure if there’s anything that either of you can do to keep him out of prison.”
“But---,” Kenji began, looking pale and startled, only to be cut off by Jelena again. Now that she had started talking, she was apparently not going to stop any time soon.
“No, don’t say anything,” she urged, leaning over the table and placing a finger over Kenji’s lips, physically shushing him. As if they knew each other far better than they really did. “I’m just telling you this because… Well, to be honest, I like you, and I like you a lot. And seeing as Arai is your brother, I felt as if I should be doing something to help you out, even if there’s not much that I can do, strictly speaking. But I can warn you. If you asked for my advice, I would tell you to get Arai out of Saitama as quickly as possible. It might be the only thing that can save him. And he did live in America for a while, right?”
Kenji honestly found it hard to keep up at the moment. The mass of information given in such a rapid English made his head spin – first the revelation that she really did like him, as he had vaguely suspected, then the knowledge that the case against Arai was bad enough for her to advice him to get Arai away from Saitama altogether, the knowledge that she knew something that personal about Arai… It made Kenji realize, finally, just how serious this was. Up until now he had thought that sooner or later, the charges would simply go away, just because he knew that Arai was innocent.
I’m such an idiot, he thought to himself as he more or less stared at Jelena, not quite knowing what to tell her. It felt impossible to come up with a good answer, and in the end he merely nodded, though he had no idea just what he was nodding in response to. Jelena didn’t seem to be all that concerned though, and sighed softly, brushing her finger over his lips. Kenji let her.
“Really, you need to get Arai away, otherwise he will end up in prison. I’m trying not to tell you too much here, but it seems like the initial drug charges was only the beginning of the case the police is building against him. He’s been a thorn in the eyes of the higher police officers for years. I think… I think they’re finding a way to get rid of him. Once and for all. I think they’re trying to get him sent to The Cage. For life, Kenji. If they get him, you’ll never see Arai again.”
Again Kenji merely stared at Jelena, wondering if she was telling the truth. Not that he had any reason not to trust her, but on the other hand… Why should he trust her? In Saitama, sometimes it seemed like you couldn’t even trust your best friends. He should know.
“A-are you serious?” he asked, his voice sounding as if he hadn’t used it in years, and he suddenly realized just how scared he was of the possibility of Arai being sent to prison. No, not only to prison, but to The Cage. That couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t happen. Just like Jun being taken away by the social services would kill all three of them, so would Arai being sent to prison. Okay, maybe Arai could make it in prison, but somehow he doubted it. Arai played it tough, pretended to be hardcore, but beneath it all he was really rather mellow. Possibly even more so than Kenji himself.
“I’m completely serious, Kenji,” Jelena replied, and she did indeed look very serious. “I wouldn’t play games with you, you’re…. you’re far too important to me for that. I just wanted to do something for you, something that could help you, so that maybe…” She trailed off again, shaking her head, looking so sad that Kenji felt guilty simply for being here and not treating her in the way that she so clearly desired. He decided to leave the topic of Arai for now, because it was just as clear that Jelena would not say anything else about him, nor give him any kind of detailed information about his case. She couldn’t, he didn’t really have any problems with understanding and respecting that. So instead he smiled faintly to her, reaching out and taking her hand in his.
“Thank you, Jelena. Thank you so much for letting me know, I really appreciate your kindness. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, just let me know. I’ll happily grant it, as long as it’s physically possible to do,” he said warmly, meaning every word. No matter if there were still a little nagging thought at the back of his mind telling him that something was wrong. It was probably merely his constant suspicion – the past ten years had made him more than a little cynical, he had to admit that. But at the sight of the girl in front of him lighting up as if she had been given the greatest compliment of all times he couldn’t help but smile back at her.
She really was rather beautiful, with her dark and dramatic colors. So utterly different from Yukiko. There was nothing Kenji could do to stop the thought, and it made his smile fade a little. Yukiko. With her long hair as white as snow, with her pale skin and delicate features and her eyes, so bright and with that odd mixture of blue and brown that told him that they were contacts, something which he didn’t care one single bit about because they were amazing nonetheless. Yukiko with her stylish clothes and her soft laughter and that special tone of her voice, the one that made it sound like she was singing even if she was only talking about where to go for dinner. Yukiko with the soft, white ears sticking out of her hair and the equally white tail that she did nothing to hide. Yukiko with her ability to laugh at everything he said without making him feel stupid and with her ability to really purr and stretch when she was content. He loved watching her, talking to her, even just thinking about her.
Compared to someone like that, how could Jelena ever stand a chance?
However, on the other side…. Jelena worked in his firm and studied to be a police officer, she came from a respected family with close connections to The Hills, she was open and honest and young and innocent. Jelena would never even think of doing like Yukiko. Yukiko, who worked as a stripper in one of the sleaziest clubs in The Slums, and who lived there as well. Close to The Plains, granted, but still. She was still in The Slums. Yukiko, who had wanted to be a dancer, a real dancer, but who had taken the wrong turn somewhere and now she was not someone who Kenji should even be talking to. Which he wasn’t, so everything should be okay now. Yukiko was out of the picture and he was sitting here with Jelena. He should be happy.
So why did he feel like the sun had just gone down?
“Kenji?” Jelena’s voice was confused, and Kenji snapped out of the thoughts that just couldn’t lead anywhere good. He had to forget Yukiko, he had to, and what better way was there, if not to move on with someone who was the exact opposite of Yukiko? Someone who openly liked him, someone who he might learn to like back in the same way.
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking. What did you say?” he smiled at her, forcing himself to bury the thought of Yukiko far down, so that Jelena wouldn’t be able to tell that he was really thinking about someone else when he was sitting here with her, offering her everything she wanted.
“I just said that… That maybe, if you don’t think it’s too much, that we can go on a date sometime. A real one, I mean, and not just bumping into each other and getting coffee.” She laughed quietly, her cheeks slightly flushed, and Kenji had to admit that she really was quite cute. In all honesty she probably was far too young for him, but she seemed so mature. She seemed to know what she wanted, and seeing as he had said she could have anything, he nodded, still smiling. Trying not to think of the woman he really wanted.
“That sounds great. I have an appointment tomorrow evening and I have some work to catch up with, but… What do you say we go out to eat on Friday? Maybe catch a movie or go to the theatre afterwards? It’s nothing big, I know, but it’s a start,” he said with the right level of enthusiasm. The enthusiasm he felt nothing of – this was merely repaying Jelena for warning him about the case against Arai, and also a way for him to start getting over Yukiko. Maybe it was cold-hearted of him to use a young girl like that, but he could hardly see how a date or three would hurt her in the long run.
And sure enough, Jelena nodded eagerly, once again lighting up as if he had asked her to marry him. The strength of her reaction should probably warn him against toying with her feelings, but at the moment her feelings was the least of his worries. It was harsh, but it was also completely true. Against playing by the “rules”, Kenji displayed just about the right level of reluctance as he got up and paid the bill for their coffee and cakes – his father had raised him to be a gentleman and even though gestures such as this was considered old-fashioned and out of date and would have made Arai scoff at him, he didn’t care. The looks in the girls’ eyes, Jelena’s this time, was more than enough to make up for him being teased for being so chivalrous.
They exchanged phone numbers and Kenji promised to call Jelena, before they parted. After a small moment of hesitation Kenji leaned in and kissed Jelena’s cheek, once again thanking her for the information she had given him. He had a feeling that it would make all the difference in what happened to Arai, though he couldn’t quite explain why.
Well at home Kenji was more than a little distracted as he put away the groceries and made dinner for himself and Arai, though as usual he had no idea when his younger brother would be stumbling in through the door. For once though, he would wait up, no matter how long it took. They had to talk.
It was nearly 4 AM before Arai returned to their apartment, looking all too happy; slightly tipsy, with his clothes crumpled and askew, and with that utterly pleased look on his face that Kenji knew all too well. He got up from the sofa, where he had been reading for hours now after going over the entire apartment, tidying up anything that might be of offense to the social services, and cleaning thoroughly as well – it wasn’t exactly something he enjoyed to do or did very often, but right now it was needed. They had to make a good impression as they possibly could – no matter if Nakamura had already made up her mind about the outcome.
“You’re late,” he told Arai, noting the definite hint of dismay in his voice, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that at the moment. Not when he felt sick with concern for his two brothers, feeling as if his own life was going way too good at the moment. After all, he was the one who had gotten his job back, who had two women interested in him, who had just had a big article written about him. Okay, so maybe that last part wasn’t all that positive, but still.
Arai looked back at him in apparent surprise, not exactly used to Kenji waiting up for him anymore. After Arai turned twenty and technically became an adult, Kenji had stopped berating him and trying to control him. For the most part, anyway. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Arai laughed, however, and he shuffled over to Kenji, giving him a big hug and a far too enthusiastic kiss that Kenji broke away from instantly, sputtering with anger.
“Would you act your age for once in your life?! I didn’t wait up so that you could attack me, Arai,” Kenji said angrily, pushing his brother away rather harshly, making an already unsteady Arai stumble back and crash into the nearest wall. Of course, those harsh words were all it took for Arai’s temper to flare as well, and his eyes darkened. Drawing back slightly Kenji noticed that it wasn’t a trick of the light; Arai’s eyes actually darkened with the rush of anger. He had noticed little things like that in the past as well, but it was getting more and more obvious the older Arai became, that these strange little things that kept happening around him. Arai didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care, but for Kenji it was excruciating to watch. Not to mention frightening.
Who is he? He’s not normal, he’s honestly not normal...
“I’m normal, stop saying I’m not normal!” Arai almost yelled, making Kenji literally jump – mostly because he hadn’t said anything at all. This really wasn’t like it should be; since when did Arai have the ability to read thoughts?
“Okay, okay, calm down,” he said, holding up his hands in defeat, not wanting to risk pissing Arai off on top of everything else. They had to stick together now; otherwise there was no way that they would manage to figure this mess out. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to say something like that. And that’s not the point either. I have to talk to you, that’s why I waited up for you. I’ve found out some things, and I---”
“I’ve found out a few things myself,” Arai interrupted, calming down again fairly quickly. If nothing else, that was one of the good things about Arai – he was quick to get angry, but it would pass just as quickly, thankfully. Unless there was someone that really awoke his wrath, of course, like the time that he had found out that someone had bullied Jun – Arai had gone with him to the school he had een attending at the time, found the bullies and beat them into submission. Granted, the incident got Jun expelled, but Kenji hadn’t been able to be mad at Arai; simply because he had wanted to do the exact same thing, Arai had just gotten to the boys sooner.
“You’re in trouble at work again,” Arai continued all too calmly. Kenji frowned, not really understanding what on earth Arai was talking about, because how could he possibly know anything at all about Kenji’s work situation? Hell, Arai barely knew what he did for a living, never having taken any interest in it whatsoever. “There’s another file missing, and there’s one that’s been messed up. When you get to work tomorrow, you’ll be called into another meeting. I think you might be fired for good this time.”
Kenji didn’t understand how Arai could sound so calm, if what he was saying was indeed true. They sat down on the couch, curling up a little in the exact same way, something which would have made Jun smile if he had been here. Then he would have padded over and made room for himself in the middle, and then they’d watch a movie with Kenji and Arai constantly bickering over the movie and every single detail in it. It was their way.
“What do you mean? How do you know this? I haven’t messed anything up, I’ve checked everything I’ve done at least three times, and often gotten Nanette to look over my work as well, just to make sure. I swear, there’s not a chance of me having messed up.” He was telling the absolute truth; he had known that he would be under extra scrutiny, so he had taken even more care than before his suspension. This didn’t make any sense whatsoever, but then again, he hadn’t thought that it made any sense with the Redmon portfolio either – he was still completely sure that he hadn’t messed that up.
“you know, Kenji, I’m starting to wonder… But no, that doesn’t make sense at all, it really doesn’t. Why the hell would someone want to…” Arai trailed off, looking pensive, though when he didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, Kenji reached out and tugged on his braids – they were all too made for that. “Oi, what did you do that for? Oh yeah, sorry, I was trying to think.”
“Trying being the operative word, I’m sure,” Kenji remarked dryly, earning himself a poke in the ribs. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, no matter how serious the situation was. If nothing else, they were still brothers; nobody could take that away from them.
“Shut up, I don’t see you trying to figure this out.” Once again Arai fell silent, until Kenji tugged his hair again. They had more than enough experience with this kind of banter, and it felt…almost safe, actually. It made it feel like everything really was okay. “I was just thinking that it’s just too much at once. The social services suddenly knocking on our door, your trouble with work, my trouble with the police… And Jun called earlier, he was given detention because of missed homework. Do you believe that for a second? The little idiot is one of those who do extra homework just because he thinks it’s fun. He told me that he turned it in just like he always did, but that it apparently mysteriously disappeared. Doesn’t that sound a bit too familiar to you?”
This time it was Kenji’s turn to fall silent, turning Arai’s words over and over in his head. There was no denying that he had a point. There was just a bit too much happening at once, way too much for it to be a coincidence. They had always had their problems through the years, that was true, but they had never had such huge problems, and never all of them at the same time. Arai was right – this was all too suspicious.
“Yeah, I get what you’re saying, but… Why would someone want to mess our lives up? And do you really think that there’s anyone who can influence social services, build a case against you, get me fired from work and get Jun in detention? How is that possible?” he asked, being the voice of reason as always. It would have been so easy to chalk it all up to some conspiracy against them, but on the other hand, he saw that as a cheap way out. Besides, it wouldn’t solve the problem at all – in fact it would make everything even worse. Because if there really was just one person behind it all, then how could either of them manage to stop someone that obviously powerful?
Arai shook his head though, not quite agreeing, and he shifted towards Kenji eagerly. “It’s not that much of a stretch! Saitama isn’t all that big, you know, it’s like everybody knows everybody here. I’m sure that if we thought about it, we could come up with several people who know all three of us.”
Kenji had a feeling that they were disagreeing with each other simply out of principle, or maybe it was just the fact that they saw things differently. In any case, he thought that Arai was being an idiot, no matter whether he had a point or not. “And just why would any of the people that knew all three of us want to mess up our lives? And how could any of them manage to do something like that? I mean, you’d have to have some connections to pull that stuff off, right? Use what little is left of your brain, you moron.”
“I didn’t say that I had a reasoning for why or how, fuckface. But you have to agree that it makes more sense than all of this happening for no reason whatsoever. All of this can’t be a coincidence,” Arai said, gesturing so eagerly that Kenji grinned, though he hid it by reaching out and hitting him over the head. They would probably never agree on this, not until they managed to find any sort of evidence that this wasn’t just a coincidence.
“Even if it’s not a coincidence, there’s nothing we can do about it. There’s no way for us to figure out who that person might be, and if we don’t know who it is, then we can’t stop them either. We have to deal with this the way we know how – and not run off on some treasure hunt that won’t lead anywhere at all,” Kenji said rather sternly, waving a finger in Arai’s face. He knew his brother rather well, after all, and he knew that Arai was likely to go off attempting to find this person. No matter whether he or she actually existed.
Quite honestly, Kenji just didn’t have the time or energy to look after Arai and what he did, not with everything else right now. There was so much going on that he almost forgot just why he had waited up for Arai in the first place, which was definitely saying something.
“Listen, Arai, there’s something else I need to talk to you about,” he began, and for once Arai actually quieted down, as if he was able to understand that this wasn’t something he could joke away, not this time. “Nakamura from the social services called, she’s coming here tomorrow night to talk to me about Jun and well, about you and me too, I guess, and everything else in general. She wasn’t particularly pleased with the article, it---”
“Oh yeah, the article, I had almost forgotten! That one was so brilliant, Loki really does know what he’s doing, doesn’t he? Jun should really read that, he always asks me what you were like when you were younger,” Arai interrupted, all seriousness vanishing in two seconds flat. Kenji felt like smacking him.
“No, he shouldn’t read that at all! It’s nothing in it that he should be reading. He doesn’t need to know,” Kenji snapped back, though his reaction only served to amuse Arai. “And anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that it hardly helped our case. Apparently Nakamura is convinced that Jun’s going to go bad because of my past, and that it’s my fault that you turned out the way you did.”
Arai stared back at Kenji in disbelief, as if he couldn’t quite understand that someone managed to think that way. “Are you serious? Did the bitch read the rest of the article? She’s insane! Me and Jun, we couldn’t have had someone better to raise us and take care of us! If it hadn’t been for you… I don’t think either of us would have even survived. Doesn’t she see that?!”
Kenji looked back at Arai, at his angry eyes and his gesturing and his utter honesty – and without a word he shifted closer and gave him a hug. He had never heard Arai talk like this; usually they would merely argue and bitch at each other and disagree on everything from the day’s dinner to how to raise Jun best. At times he had really wondered why Arai stayed here, but now it became less of a mystery. Maybe Arai actually did like him too, and not just Jun.
“Nakamura doesn’t see it like that. She sees your trouble with the police and Jun’s problems at school, and she blames me for it, seeing as I’m the one responsible for the two of you. I get why she thinks that way, even if it’s unfair,” Kenji replied, oddly calmly. In a way it made it easier to stay calm and collected to fight for his brothers when he knew just how Arai felt. “I’ve sorted the apartment, and I’m planning on finding all of Jun’s grade sheets and awards that he’s been given. It might be a cheap thing to do, but I’ll use it for all it’s worth if it helps.”
Arai stayed close to Kenji, drawing his legs up into the sofa and shifting to pretty much drape himself over Kenji’s lap – and for once Kenji didn’t mind it, even if Arai smelled of alcohol and sex. It didn’t seem to matter too much, not in the big picture. “Yeah, you really should do that. I guess that you should mention me as little as possible, huh? I’ll make sure to stay away tomorrow.”
It wasn’t difficult to notice the almost hurt tone of Arai’s voice, and Kenji shook his head. This probably wasn’t the smartest solution, but he didn’t really care all that much. Arai couldn’t make things worse. “Silly. I want you to be here. I’m not ashamed of you, not one single bit. And you know just as good as me that you’re far more likely to charm the woman.”
“Yeah, you have a point there,” Arai admitted, smiling up at Kenji, looking almost hopeful, as if he couldn’t quite believe that Kenji would want him there. It made Kenji wonder if their relationship really was that bad, to the point of where they were more or less total strangers who lived together and argued every time they spoke. No, it couldn’t have gotten that bad. He wouldn’t let it get that bad.
“So you’ll stay here with me, and we’ll convince that…woman that the best thing for Jun is to stay right here, where he belongs. But that’s only half of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Kenji sighed quietly, thinking how much easier it would have been to just forget everything about it – he sure as hell had enough to struggle with already. But Arai was just as much his brother as Jun was, even if they weren’t related by blood, and there was no way he’d leave him to fend for himself.
“I spoke to a girl today, no, a woman, and she told me some very interesting things. She’s working with the police, she’s on your case, and she… Well, she advised me to get you out of Saitama as quickly as possible, because if you get arrested, you might be sent to The Cage. For good,” Kenji said quietly, not looking at Arai because he didn’t really want to say this at all, but well, he kind of had to. He really had to, no matter how much it might end up hurting Arai. Choosing to stay silent would hurt him even more in the long run, that much was certain. Though he had to admit that the look on Arai’s face when he finally glanced at him was almost physically painful.
“I have to leave? Again?” Arai asked, suddenly sounding as if he was just as young as Jun. Jun, who would sit in his room and cry silently the night before he had to leave for school until Arai came and hugged and comforted him. When Arai was the one sounding like that, Kenji quite honestly didn’t know what to do.
“I don’t know, Arai. It was merely her advice; it’s up to us if we want to follow it. Or it’s up to you, anyway – I can’t decide for you,” Kenji replied more calmly than he felt. Quite frankly he didn’t want Arai to leave, but if it was a choice between sending Arai out of Saitama and watching him be sent to The Cage, then it was easy. It wouldn’t even be a choice. “I’ll do anything I can to help you out, but according to Jelena, the file on you is huge, and they apparently have more than the drug stuff. I have no idea what, she couldn’t tell me, but I’m… I’m scared for you, Arai.”
It wasn’t often Kenji said things like these to Arai, something which they both knew, and it made Arai sit up, looking at Kenji seriously. “When you’re scaed, then I know that it’s bad. Usually when I’ve been in trouble you’ve just said that I need to fix it myself and then you’ve gone to work like everything’s normal.” There was a slight hint of something accusatory in Arai’s voice, but Kenji knew that he wasn’t actually angry. Considering the mass of problems Arai had been in over the past few years he could hardly blame Kenji for telling him to sort it himself.
“Yeah, you’re right, it is bad. But we’ll deal with it together, I promise you that. We’ll keep getting you out of Saitama as a last option. Resorting to that just yet would just be foolish, if you ask me. We’ve never given up without a fight in the past, have we?”
Kenji didn’t feel even half as secure and confident as he sounded, and he knew very well that Arai could see straight though him, but he nodded nonetheless. As if it was just simpler to allow his big brother to make the decisions, even if Arai was an adult as well by now, fully capable of making his own decisions. Something which he did for the most part. It was mostly when he was in trouble that he turned to Kenji, and Kenji helped him, every single time.
They were family.
~tbc~
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Artsy: Damien
Damien really is a true little demonchild. He's the kind who'll come to steal your sould and/or kill you while you're asleep. And that's why I love him.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Artsy: Triplets
My adorable little Water Elves, in order of appearance: Pirath, Phailin and Pichaya.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Future plans
Just for my own reference, a list of the dollfie things I'm planning on doing, sometime in the future -
Mods:
-- Finish Cephas' body mods
-- Finish Cephas' face mods
-- Touch up the Soo's eye mods
-- Touch up Faith's eye mods
-- Finish the MNF Chiwoo's eye mods
-- Open the SLeeping Breakaway's eyes when it get here
Face-ups:
-- Cephas' face-up and body blushing
-- Face-up for the Soo
-- Face-up for Faith
-- Face-up for Aédan
-- Face-up for Tsi
-- Re-do Yuurin's face-up
-- Re-do Min's face-up
-- Lighten Marumir's lips
-- Edit the Breakaway's face-up when he gets here
That should keep me occupied for a while and then some...
Mods:
-- Finish Cephas' body mods
-- Finish Cephas' face mods
-- Touch up the Soo's eye mods
-- Touch up Faith's eye mods
-- Finish the MNF Chiwoo's eye mods
-- Open the SLeeping Breakaway's eyes when it get here
Face-ups:
-- Cephas' face-up and body blushing
-- Face-up for the Soo
-- Face-up for Faith
-- Face-up for Aédan
-- Face-up for Tsi
-- Re-do Yuurin's face-up
-- Re-do Min's face-up
-- Lighten Marumir's lips
-- Edit the Breakaway's face-up when he gets here
That should keep me occupied for a while and then some...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Fiction: Nothing like a family to screw up a family
The Saitama sunsets always seemed so spectacular. Maybe it was just because he didn't have the time to stop and watch them all that often, maybe it was just that he had changed oh, so much over the past few months, maybe it was the city itself lending some of its magic to the elements around it. Whatever it was, Kanata didn't really care all that much. The most important thing was that the sunset was there, that he could see it and almost feel it. That he could watch those colors and let them remind him that yes, he was still alive, and that there was no reason to forget that.
However, not all that long ago he had seemed to forget all that - that he was only a teenager with all his life in front of him, that he had opportunities and chances and things to experience. That he actually did have a life and a self, and that it was worth something.
All those things seemed all too easy to forget when you had a brother like Vintersorg.
Kanata sighed as he heard his brother calling him from the kitchen, and even though he shot an answer back just as sharply, he still turned away from the window facing the sunset and went to find out what his older brother wanted. "It's not brain surgery, you moron. You're perfectly capable of making pizza yourself," he said with exasperation as he found out just why his brother had interrupted his thoughts. As always, Vintersorg merely grinned back at him and tossed a few vegetables over. Funny how he never changed, no matter how many times their surroundings and environments changed. Kanata was starting to think that Vintersorg was incapable of changing - he seemed to have been the exact same person for as long as Kanata could remember.
"I know it's not complicated, brat," Vintersorg answered far too sweetly, making Kanata glare at him because he had long since learned that his brother only used that tone of voice when there was something he wanted. And usually, he used it either on Kanata or whoever he wanted to seduce for the evening. His hunch wasn't wrong this time either. "Look, Dominic's coming over, and I don't have time to be cooking. Besides, you're better at it than me. More practice and all that," Vintersorg said with a grin that was all too charming, and Kanata knew that if it hadn't been for the fact that they were brothers and that he knew Vintersorg better than anyone in the world, he would have fallen head over heels for him. Just like most other people seemed to do. By now, however, Kanata knew how to resist his brother's charms, knew how to not be infatuated with him, and he rolled his eyes again in response, tossing the vegetables back over.
"Screw you. It's not my job to cook for you and your little slutboy. Especially not when I won't get to eat any of the meal myself." Kanata knew all too well that he was taking a risk by talking to his brother like that, but fuck it; he was growing up fast and Vintersorg seemed like he couldn't understand that at all. In so many aspects he really was the annoying brat in the family. Unfortunately for Kanata, Vintersorg was also the older, the stronger, the taller, the smarter; the one in charge. Maybe they really did have the same kind of explosive tempter and general impatience with everything and everyone, but as of yet Vintersorg was the one of them who could properly express it. Use his temper and anger to get the things he wanted, while Kanata was left merely watching him. Watching and obeying - just like he had done all his life.
And as Vintersorg's expression hardened, his smile transforming into a scowl impressively quickly, Kanata knew that he should apologize and take it all back to stop the impending outburst from happening, but instead he took a step forwards. It was stupid, he knew as much, but life wasn't always about doing the smart thing in any given situation. "What? Can't you handle the simple truth?" he spat as his brother covered the few steps between them and grabbed the back of Kanata's neck, almost lifting him off the ground with sheer force. The pain made Kanata wince, but he still didn't back down. "I'm not a kid anymore! I'm not your fucking servant; you can't treat me as one! I'm not your slave either, you already have one of those, and I---"
Kanata's tirade was cut efficiently short by a harsh slap to his cheek, the skin tingling with the force of the impact, his head snapping to the side. Even if it stung, Kanata still glared at his brother, who seemed to be looming over him in a quiet rage. And when he spoke, his voice was quiet and controlled as well, even if Kanata had no problems with noticing his anger. "You don't talk to me like that ever again. You don't talk about Dominic like that. I get the whole teenage rebellion thing, but I don't care. This is my place, kid, and you will treat me with respect. And you will do as you're told."
Vintersorg always made things so clear, stating everything so firmly that Kanata found it just as difficult to protest every time. Especially seeing as the commands were made even clearer by the bruising grip on his neck. Kanata didn't answer like he knew he was supposed to, and instead he merely stared up at his brother with quiet defiance - knowing that was likely to piss Vintersorg off more than anything else.
For a few tense moments there was utter silence, apart from the faint noise and chatter from the street beneath the open window. Kanata was used to this; there was no doubt about that. The only difference from when he was younger was that by now he was old enough and strong enough to talk back to his older brother, even if that might not always be the best idea for his own physical well-being. Or his own emotional well-being, for that matter.
"Oh, fuck you," Vintersorg said, and let go of Kanata so quickly that he crashed to the floor, rather painfully. "Make dinner, then get lost. I don't want you around tonight." With that, Vintersorg simply turned his back on Kanata, and walked out of the room. Typical. Kanata figured that it was actually a fairly good outcome, seeing as he didn't end up with any more bruises than he already had, and considering that there hadn't been all that much screaming. Maybe this was a sign that his brother understood that Kanata was getting older, and that some things had to change, eventually.
Sometimes, Kanata thought about leaving. Just packing up his things and moving out, disappearing from Vintersorg's life with even a word of goodbye. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't fantasized about it, again and again, when he was younger. Especially from he was five until he was ten. Those years had been the worst; Kanata still wasn't quite sure how he had gotten through those years. Before that, they had lived in an apartment in Norway, and Vintersorg had worked most of the days and most of the nights, and left Kanata with an endless string of well-meaning girlfriends and boyfriends that at least made sure that Kanata stayed alive and relatively well. Vintersorg hadn't really given Kanata much attention in those years - which was evident considering that he hadn't even bothered to give his brother a proper name. Kanata's birth certificate read "baby boy" as a first name. Something which he found rather funny, now.
Then, everything happened. Even now, Kanata shuddered slightly when he thought about those years. He got himself off the floor and started making the dinner, knowing that it was easier to just do it - at least he had protested instead of simply following orders like a damn servant. Much like he had done when he was younger, really, purely out of fear. When Kanata was five years old, Vintersorg lost first his job, then all his girlfriends and boyfriends, then his apartment, and then he got in trouble with the police and various gangs. After struggling for a few months, he finally packed everything he owned (including Kanata), and started moving around. Kanata remembered living in Denmark, France, England, France again, Italy, even Russia for a while. Then there was America, for several years. Kanata had learned to read there, had learned English there, used the name Michael there, for a while, and then Jake, and then Peter, after he read The Chronicles Of Narnia.
Kanata opted for blocking out the other things about their life in America. Chose not to think about sleeping in the car on cold nights, chose not to think about days where he hadn't gotten anything to eat, chose not to think about the days where Vintersorg had been angry and frustrated and hateful, blaming it all on Kanata and beating him until Kanata begged him to stop. He didn't want to think about those things, because if he dwelled on them, he was sure that he would end up hating his brother forever, and he didn't want that. Just why he didn't want that, he couldn't explain, not even to himself - maybe it was just because they were brothers, because they had lived with each other for so long, because they were each other's only real family.
After America came a few years in Asia, still moving around constantly. Kanata learned just enough Korean to get by and went by Junhee, before they moved to China and he struggled to learn Mandarin and called himself Xie until he got himself a girlfriend who dressed as a boy and called him Princess. He lost his virginity to her, when he was thirteen and seven months, and Vintersorg yelled at him for being out all night. But that time, the bruises and harsh words were all worth it.
He didn't want to move on to Japan, but he didn't have a choice, and in sheer protest he called himself Princess for months. After a while he changed it to Cinderella, because that sounded more like an actual name, and while they were living in Tokyo he wandered the streets and learned how to dress like a girl. Vintersorg would laugh at him, but by now Kanata had discovered that he could be his own person, away from his brother, no matter how strong and inevitable the bonds between them were. Somehow, they had ended up in Saitama, and finally Vintersorg had settled. Almost. It had taken a while before they had found an apartment to settle down in, but by then Vintersorg had a job and half of a band and smiled more than he used to.
Kanata hummed to himself as he finished the pizza and shoved it into the oven, setting the timer before yelling to his brother that he'd better manage to take the fucking thing out himself, at least. There were limits for how long Kanata was willing to stay around and be nice and pleasant, after all. Escaping before Vintersorg got back, Kanata went into his bedroom and locked the door safely behind him before pushing a heavy chair - the only comfortable thing in his room - in front of the door. After the four times Vintersorg had misjudged the apartments and crashed down on Kanata's futon kissing Dominic, Kanata had learned to lock the door.
Again he walked over to the window and looked outside, but the sunset was over now, and there was only darkness illuminated by the neon lights of the city. Their apartment was overlooking the worst part of town, even if they technically weren't living there. Instead they were living among families and men in suits having normal jobs, though they saw just as many strippers and whores. Since they moved here, Kanata learned Japanese properly and expanded his English vocabulary, and decided on being Kanata, at least for a while.
He had a feeling that who he was, who he had been and who he would be in the future, was all determined by Vintersorg. Sometimes, that feeling terrified him, but sometimes it was also sort of comforting. Kanata curled up on the window ledge and listened to his brother and his boyfriend talk and laugh in the living room, and he wasn't sure if he should feel terribly alone or like he'd never be alone at all.
~fin~
However, not all that long ago he had seemed to forget all that - that he was only a teenager with all his life in front of him, that he had opportunities and chances and things to experience. That he actually did have a life and a self, and that it was worth something.
All those things seemed all too easy to forget when you had a brother like Vintersorg.
Kanata sighed as he heard his brother calling him from the kitchen, and even though he shot an answer back just as sharply, he still turned away from the window facing the sunset and went to find out what his older brother wanted. "It's not brain surgery, you moron. You're perfectly capable of making pizza yourself," he said with exasperation as he found out just why his brother had interrupted his thoughts. As always, Vintersorg merely grinned back at him and tossed a few vegetables over. Funny how he never changed, no matter how many times their surroundings and environments changed. Kanata was starting to think that Vintersorg was incapable of changing - he seemed to have been the exact same person for as long as Kanata could remember.
"I know it's not complicated, brat," Vintersorg answered far too sweetly, making Kanata glare at him because he had long since learned that his brother only used that tone of voice when there was something he wanted. And usually, he used it either on Kanata or whoever he wanted to seduce for the evening. His hunch wasn't wrong this time either. "Look, Dominic's coming over, and I don't have time to be cooking. Besides, you're better at it than me. More practice and all that," Vintersorg said with a grin that was all too charming, and Kanata knew that if it hadn't been for the fact that they were brothers and that he knew Vintersorg better than anyone in the world, he would have fallen head over heels for him. Just like most other people seemed to do. By now, however, Kanata knew how to resist his brother's charms, knew how to not be infatuated with him, and he rolled his eyes again in response, tossing the vegetables back over.
"Screw you. It's not my job to cook for you and your little slutboy. Especially not when I won't get to eat any of the meal myself." Kanata knew all too well that he was taking a risk by talking to his brother like that, but fuck it; he was growing up fast and Vintersorg seemed like he couldn't understand that at all. In so many aspects he really was the annoying brat in the family. Unfortunately for Kanata, Vintersorg was also the older, the stronger, the taller, the smarter; the one in charge. Maybe they really did have the same kind of explosive tempter and general impatience with everything and everyone, but as of yet Vintersorg was the one of them who could properly express it. Use his temper and anger to get the things he wanted, while Kanata was left merely watching him. Watching and obeying - just like he had done all his life.
And as Vintersorg's expression hardened, his smile transforming into a scowl impressively quickly, Kanata knew that he should apologize and take it all back to stop the impending outburst from happening, but instead he took a step forwards. It was stupid, he knew as much, but life wasn't always about doing the smart thing in any given situation. "What? Can't you handle the simple truth?" he spat as his brother covered the few steps between them and grabbed the back of Kanata's neck, almost lifting him off the ground with sheer force. The pain made Kanata wince, but he still didn't back down. "I'm not a kid anymore! I'm not your fucking servant; you can't treat me as one! I'm not your slave either, you already have one of those, and I---"
Kanata's tirade was cut efficiently short by a harsh slap to his cheek, the skin tingling with the force of the impact, his head snapping to the side. Even if it stung, Kanata still glared at his brother, who seemed to be looming over him in a quiet rage. And when he spoke, his voice was quiet and controlled as well, even if Kanata had no problems with noticing his anger. "You don't talk to me like that ever again. You don't talk about Dominic like that. I get the whole teenage rebellion thing, but I don't care. This is my place, kid, and you will treat me with respect. And you will do as you're told."
Vintersorg always made things so clear, stating everything so firmly that Kanata found it just as difficult to protest every time. Especially seeing as the commands were made even clearer by the bruising grip on his neck. Kanata didn't answer like he knew he was supposed to, and instead he merely stared up at his brother with quiet defiance - knowing that was likely to piss Vintersorg off more than anything else.
For a few tense moments there was utter silence, apart from the faint noise and chatter from the street beneath the open window. Kanata was used to this; there was no doubt about that. The only difference from when he was younger was that by now he was old enough and strong enough to talk back to his older brother, even if that might not always be the best idea for his own physical well-being. Or his own emotional well-being, for that matter.
"Oh, fuck you," Vintersorg said, and let go of Kanata so quickly that he crashed to the floor, rather painfully. "Make dinner, then get lost. I don't want you around tonight." With that, Vintersorg simply turned his back on Kanata, and walked out of the room. Typical. Kanata figured that it was actually a fairly good outcome, seeing as he didn't end up with any more bruises than he already had, and considering that there hadn't been all that much screaming. Maybe this was a sign that his brother understood that Kanata was getting older, and that some things had to change, eventually.
Sometimes, Kanata thought about leaving. Just packing up his things and moving out, disappearing from Vintersorg's life with even a word of goodbye. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't fantasized about it, again and again, when he was younger. Especially from he was five until he was ten. Those years had been the worst; Kanata still wasn't quite sure how he had gotten through those years. Before that, they had lived in an apartment in Norway, and Vintersorg had worked most of the days and most of the nights, and left Kanata with an endless string of well-meaning girlfriends and boyfriends that at least made sure that Kanata stayed alive and relatively well. Vintersorg hadn't really given Kanata much attention in those years - which was evident considering that he hadn't even bothered to give his brother a proper name. Kanata's birth certificate read "baby boy" as a first name. Something which he found rather funny, now.
Then, everything happened. Even now, Kanata shuddered slightly when he thought about those years. He got himself off the floor and started making the dinner, knowing that it was easier to just do it - at least he had protested instead of simply following orders like a damn servant. Much like he had done when he was younger, really, purely out of fear. When Kanata was five years old, Vintersorg lost first his job, then all his girlfriends and boyfriends, then his apartment, and then he got in trouble with the police and various gangs. After struggling for a few months, he finally packed everything he owned (including Kanata), and started moving around. Kanata remembered living in Denmark, France, England, France again, Italy, even Russia for a while. Then there was America, for several years. Kanata had learned to read there, had learned English there, used the name Michael there, for a while, and then Jake, and then Peter, after he read The Chronicles Of Narnia.
Kanata opted for blocking out the other things about their life in America. Chose not to think about sleeping in the car on cold nights, chose not to think about days where he hadn't gotten anything to eat, chose not to think about the days where Vintersorg had been angry and frustrated and hateful, blaming it all on Kanata and beating him until Kanata begged him to stop. He didn't want to think about those things, because if he dwelled on them, he was sure that he would end up hating his brother forever, and he didn't want that. Just why he didn't want that, he couldn't explain, not even to himself - maybe it was just because they were brothers, because they had lived with each other for so long, because they were each other's only real family.
After America came a few years in Asia, still moving around constantly. Kanata learned just enough Korean to get by and went by Junhee, before they moved to China and he struggled to learn Mandarin and called himself Xie until he got himself a girlfriend who dressed as a boy and called him Princess. He lost his virginity to her, when he was thirteen and seven months, and Vintersorg yelled at him for being out all night. But that time, the bruises and harsh words were all worth it.
He didn't want to move on to Japan, but he didn't have a choice, and in sheer protest he called himself Princess for months. After a while he changed it to Cinderella, because that sounded more like an actual name, and while they were living in Tokyo he wandered the streets and learned how to dress like a girl. Vintersorg would laugh at him, but by now Kanata had discovered that he could be his own person, away from his brother, no matter how strong and inevitable the bonds between them were. Somehow, they had ended up in Saitama, and finally Vintersorg had settled. Almost. It had taken a while before they had found an apartment to settle down in, but by then Vintersorg had a job and half of a band and smiled more than he used to.
Kanata hummed to himself as he finished the pizza and shoved it into the oven, setting the timer before yelling to his brother that he'd better manage to take the fucking thing out himself, at least. There were limits for how long Kanata was willing to stay around and be nice and pleasant, after all. Escaping before Vintersorg got back, Kanata went into his bedroom and locked the door safely behind him before pushing a heavy chair - the only comfortable thing in his room - in front of the door. After the four times Vintersorg had misjudged the apartments and crashed down on Kanata's futon kissing Dominic, Kanata had learned to lock the door.
Again he walked over to the window and looked outside, but the sunset was over now, and there was only darkness illuminated by the neon lights of the city. Their apartment was overlooking the worst part of town, even if they technically weren't living there. Instead they were living among families and men in suits having normal jobs, though they saw just as many strippers and whores. Since they moved here, Kanata learned Japanese properly and expanded his English vocabulary, and decided on being Kanata, at least for a while.
He had a feeling that who he was, who he had been and who he would be in the future, was all determined by Vintersorg. Sometimes, that feeling terrified him, but sometimes it was also sort of comforting. Kanata curled up on the window ledge and listened to his brother and his boyfriend talk and laugh in the living room, and he wasn't sure if he should feel terribly alone or like he'd never be alone at all.
~fin~
Friday, May 9, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)