Chapter fifteen: The love of a lifetime
“Why haven’t you called me?”
I hunched my shoulders, just shaking my head. I didn’t really have any excuses – in fact all I had was a guilty conscience. Maria was angry and upset, and I couldn’t exactly blame her. However, her rather shrill reaction to seeing me again was a bit too much for me. I liked her much better when she was mellow, calm, and when she smiled at me instead of nearly screaming at me.
“I’m s-so-sorry,” I said, clenching my hands into fists in my coat pockets. Somehow, Maria had the ability to make me feel incredibly nervous, and I had to admit, I didn’t like it all that much. It was a stark contrast to Dakota, who despite her loud appearance and her fear still helped me be calm. Be the strong one instead of some otaku who let his girlfriend take charge.
Like Maria was doing right now.
She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. Pouted. Before, I thought that it was cute, but now it seemed all too childish. “I know you’re not used to having a girlfriend, and I know you’re used to only caring about yourself, but that has to change, Kai-chan. You’re with me now, so you need to pay me some attention.”
“Or w-what?” I asked, the question slipping out before I had the chance to stop and think about whether or not it would be a good idea to ask something like that.
Maria’s eyes widened and for a few moments she merely stared at me. “Are you telling me that you don’t want to pay more attention to me? Are you serious?! I never thought you were so selfish, Kai,” she snapped, and when I reached out for her to calm her down, she shoved me and then walked away quickly.
I sighed. That definitely didn’t go too well. I had intended to tell her about Dakota, about how I liked her, how I had kissed her, and how I was pretty sure that it was her I wanted to be with. But I had no idea how to break up with girls. Maybe it would be better to just leave it for a while.
Instead of going after Maria as I no doubt should, I roamed around the city, trying to figure out the real identities of The Four Sisters. Considering that I usually detested having to go anywhere at all, something like this was a big step for me. I could tell that people were annoyed at me, that they got impatient with me, but unlike before it didn’t bother me all that much. Suddenly I had people who accepted me for who I was, which made random people all that much easier to deal with.
However, I didn’t find out anything whatsoever. Apparently Janson was right – if he couldn’t do it, then I couldn’t either. It was a disappointing conclusion, but also the truth. Maybe I was too confident on some areas.
Defeated, I walked to Rei’s father’s bookstore. I didn’t have a particular reason to be there, but I figured that it was a good a place to be as any. The yellow police tape was gone by now, but apparently no one else had taken over the place yet, because I was able to walk right in. Just like before, I wandered along the aisles, looking at the books. They didn’t give me more answers now than they had before, but for some reason it felt calming to walk there.
I walked over to the stairs, looking at the faint outline in chalk of a body. All that was left of Rei’s father now was a bag of bones down at the police station. A bag of bones with a missing skull, and a missing son – a son that I knew in Tagetes, but not elsewhere. I wondered if there was anything else I could do to solve that mystery, or if I should just leave it be. After all, Rei seemed to be perfectly happy right now, so why mess with that? As long as he was happy with his existence, then I probably shouldn’t go digging up ancient history that might make his life far more miserable. And what if I did find out that he indeed killed his father? He might end up imprisoned and I certainly didn’t want that.
I sighed heavily – somehow my life had become complicated. Things used to be easy; almost too easy. But now… I had too many people that depended on me, too many responsibilities, and too many mysteries to solve. I had to admit it; I almost wanted to run away from it all. Leave everything and everyone behind. It would be the easiest option; it would be the least messy option, at least for me.
There was a small creak in the floorboards behind me, and I whipped around, almost expecting to see Rei’s father, for some crazy reason. This house really did mess with my head. Instead it was Dakota, who smiled at me, almost apologetically.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just…thought you might be here,” she said and walked over to me, straight into my arms. I honestly didn’t know what was happening to either of us, but I kissed her, cupping her face in my hands, before looking into her eyes. This time they were dark brown instead of pink, and I wanted to tell her that it suited her, but the words that came out were very different.
“Welcome home,” I said, and my voice didn’t feel like my own. In fact, I didn’t feel like myself in the least bit, and yet – everything seemed perfect. As if something had been wrong for a long time, but that it was right again now.
Dakota smiled, softer than she usually did, and took my hand to lead me upstairs. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered as she pulled me close. We kissed with our eyes closed, bumping into furniture on the way to the bedroom, finding it without problems. I absentmindedly thought that it was strange, because I had only been here once before, and as far as I knew, Dakota had never once been here.
The bed, which had been covered by a fine layer of dust the last time I was here, was clean now. In fact everything looked like someone lived here right now, instead of nearly thirty years ago. I tried to think straight, tried to figure out what was going on, but then Dakota pushed my coat off my shoulders and all I could think about was her.
All I wanted was to be close to her forever.
I could safely say that I hadn’t had much sex in my life, but somehow, I still knew exactly what to do, exactly what she liked. And Dakota seemed to know exactly what I liked as well; better than I knew it myself, in fact. If it hadn’t all felt so good, I would have stopped to think twice about all of this, for several reasons.
Instead I made love to her there, in Rei’s father’s bed, in a house where no one had lived for thirty years, and it wasn’t Dakota’s name I whispered against her naked skin. And it wasn’t my name that Dakota moaned with her eyes closed and her head leaned back.
Afterwards, when we were stretched out on our backs in the bed, holding hands, the spell broke. Dakota’s breath suddenly hitched in her throat, and I shuddered. We both sat up, and I noticed as I looked around again that the bed – and everything else – was still covered in dust, except that a lot of said dust was transferred onto our bodies now. If it wasn’t for the fact that Dakota looked about ready to run screaming from the room, I would have panicked.
“C-calm down,” I said hurriedly, grabbing her shoulders to prevent her from fleeing – considering how naked she was I figured that would be a bad thing. I didn’t exactly feel very calm myself, but panicking wouldn’t help. Easier said than done. I could feel a panic attack coming on myself, my breathing quickening and my grip on her shoulders tightening slightly.
Dakota winced, but moved closer to me, leaning her forehead on my shoulder. “What the hell just happened? We… This house… We really should get out of here.” Her voice trembled, and she was tense in my arms. I couldn’t blame her. Somehow I felt violated, even if there was no denying that I had been perfectly willing. We had both been perfectly willing.
“Y-yeah. Lets g-get out of h-here.” I helped her get up and we got dressed so hurriedly that I nearly grabbed her jeans instead of my own. We were awkward this time, to say the least. Minutes ago everything had seemed so utterly natural, but now we both remembered the fact that even if we did like each other, we were nearly complete strangers.
I wanted to hold her hand as we walked back out of the store, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it – it made me wonder if this incident would ruin all chances we had for a proper, normal relationship. I took a deep breath when we reached the street, and turned to face her, unable to leave things so awkward. “D-dakota---”
“Kai!” The exclamation was so loud that it sounded like the entire city could have heard it, and Dakota and I both turned to look at the young woman storming towards us. Maria.
Oh shit, I thought. Just what I needed right now.
My reaction was nothing against Dakota’s, however. She tensed up and her face paled until it was nearly completely white, and she stared at me with wide, terrified eyes. “I can’t… I’m sorry, but I have to go before something else happens,” she said, and before I had the chance to protest, she kissed my cheek and ran down the street, in the opposite direction of Maria.
I very nearly ran after her, but by then Maria had caught up to me and grabbed my wrist surprisingly hard. If I thought she had been angry before, it was nothing compared to now. I almost expected her head to spin around and explode in sheer rage, a thought which nearly made me laugh, but I had a feeling that laughing right now would earn me a left hook to the face, so I bit my lip and tried to look regretful instead.
“W-what’s up?” I asked innocently, once again almost laughing because it seemed like the most idiotic thing to say right now.
Maria scowled at me and tightened her grip on my wrist until I winced in discomfort. “What’s up? I find you coming out of some house with a slut and you ask me what’s up? What do you think is up? You’re not cheating on me, are you, Kai? You wouldn’t be that stupid, would you?”
I hesitated, unsure of what to say. I didn’t want to lie, but telling her the truth seemed infinitely stupid. “Well,” I said at length, and somehow, that one word seemed to be more than enough. Maria let go of my wrist, but only to slap me across the face. Hard.
“You’ll regret this! You and your little slut,” she spat, and hit me again for good measure before she turned and stalked away just as quickly as she had walked up to me.
“G-great,” I said to myself, looking down the street in both directions. Dakota was long gone, and even if I did want to find her again to talk, I had no idea where she might have gone. She would have to come find me once she was ready, and I just had to wait. Maria, on the other hand, I could easily find, but I was fairly sure that I didn’t want to.
With a sigh, I started walking in a third direction, intending on getting back home as quickly as possible – apparently there had been a reason for why I had preferred staying inside my apartment, shutting the rest of the world out. It was far too much trouble associated with having actual relationships. My apartment had always been my safe haven, and now probably even more so than before. It was the only place Dakota could find me, and it was a place I could lock myself in to escape anyone and everyone else.
Except that when I came home, I found the door wrenched open, and everything inside the apartment wrecked.
Today really wasn’t my day.
For the longest time, all I could do was to stand in the door, staring in on the mess. All my books had been torn out of the shelves and strewn all over the floor, all the furniture seemed to be slashed with a knife, all my plates and glasses had been broken on the kitchen floor. All in all, it looked like a hurricane had gone through there. Several times.
“Yo, Kai, what’s--- Whoa. What happened to your place?”
I turned my head and smiled bleakly at Kevin, my nearest neighbour in the building. I didn’t know him all that well, but we were on first name basis and we usually said hi to each other if we met and otherwise left each other alone. He was a nice guy, though from the clothes he was wearing and the arguments I had overheard, he was a member of one of the many gangs roaming around the city.
“I’m s-starting to think s-someone doesn’t l-like me,” I replied, shrugging a little. It was difficult to know what else to say – what was I supposed to say when my apartment had been turned upside down, anyway?
Kevin laughed and took a step inside my apartment, looking around curiously. “I didn’t hear anything, but I’ve been sleeping, so… Has anything been stolen?”
“No, I… My c-computer!”
I rushed into the apartment and made my way through the mess to my living room, staring down at my now very empty desk. My computer and all my hard drives were gone. “Oh, fuck,” Kevin said and came to stand beside me, patting my shoulder for comfort. He probably knew as well as me that getting the computer back would be next to impossible.
“Y-yeah,” I agreed, feeling a pang of pain in my chest that was partly from panic (what was I supposed to do without my computer?), and partly from actual grief. To me, my computer was my life, to probably unhealthy degrees.
It wasn’t until I leaned forwards with my hands braced against the desk that I noticed the note, small and white with letters in vivid red.
Death becomes you.
~tbc~
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